Que sera sera.. Whatever will be, will be..

Pointer

2011-02-25T14:08:00.010+05:30

Well, I am a dog person. As long as I have remembered, I have always wanted to bring a little pup home and play with it everyday. They are honest creatures who just know how to give love.. Just give them a cuddle and a tummy rub and they couldn't be happier! In sharp contrast are creatures like us, who have to rationalize thru all aspects of life and make everything seem like a form of barter. No amount of tummy rubs and cuddles seem to make us happy. No wonder we are so incapable of loving unconditionally!

I once had the privilege of naming a furry little pup and I christened her 'noodles'. She was such a cutie! Soft brown eyes full of love.. my heart still melts every time I look at her picture. Due to situations beyond my control, she was given off to another family and was separated from her six equally tiny brothers, sisters and mother Candy. Poor Candy moped for days looking at all the corners of the house for her babies. I am just glad that I was not there to see her in such a condition. Even though practical considerations forces many dog owners to do this, somehow I have never been able to some to terms with that. The implications of a loving family getting separated is something I can't start describing in words...

So, coming back to more brighter side of adopting a pet, why am I suddenly talking about puppy love? Well, it so happened that this discussion over dog names came up and I thought how cool it would be to have a pup named 'Pointer'. It seems such a perfect name! While playing fetch, one could say 'Here Pointer, go fetch some memory' or if he decides to get back a bone instead of the ball, one could say 'Pointer, naughty boy, go and dereference the correct memory!' Of course, it would also mean that I have a ball with the name 'memory', which would officially earn me the title of 'the nerd next door', but lets not get into that yet! (Since this the closest I will ever get to being christened 'the girl next door', I might as well give it a shot ;-) )

In a way it would also signify the mutual love that we both would have for each other because in a way 'We would both be referencing the same address', although there are some aspects like 'memory leaks' which are bound to cause some everyday ruptures in our otherwise loving existence :-)

And maybe (just maybe!) I would make him a dog collar with the inscription:

Pointer *ptr;

ptr = &munmun;

Ok, that may be stretching it too far, but the basic thought behind choosing this name remains the same: Being one and the same, sharing a love that transcends the boundaries of language and expression and joins two hearts in one bond.

My First Month

2011-02-18T16:19:00.014+05:30

It was a new kind of baby being born exactly one month ago.

Her legs shook and wobbled and tears hid behind the kohl laden eyes.

There was an anticipation and confidence and all preparations had been made way in advance. The clothes were well ironed and lay perfectly in the order of use. Phone calls had been made and prayers had been done. It was time.

The time had come for a new phoenix to emerge from its ashes and the process had just been initiated. Inner ghosts that had conquered the mind and established illegal residences had to be vanquished and the rust had to be removed from the outer crusts. There had once resided in that shell a vivacious, fearless person and that person now needed to emerge from her silent retreat.

Week 1:

Every time she spoke, her heart pounded so hard that she would fear going deaf. The inner ghosts saw their troops slowly vanishing and started putting up a mutiny to retain themselves in the territory. As the battle reached its tumultuous pitch each day, her heartbeats increased and with her defences slowly reducing, tears trickled down and she rushed to the restroom to give vent to this pent up emotional turbulence inside her, far far away from the gaze of the judging eyes...

She ate alone, sat alone, almost like a new boarding school student, except that boarding school students usually get befriended by the geeky outliers.. She was surrounded by the geeks, yet it seemed like she did not fit in.. Like a non-local variable whose reference had been lost (see.. geeky!), she wandered about, trying to look smart and shiny in her new clothes and shoes, but her smile slowly started to lose its shine and worried brows started generating sharper curves.

Weeks 2 and 3:

These were possibly the toughest weeks. Everyday there were some new challenges to overcome and the toughest probably were the ones that required her to speak and communicate. How on earth would anyone understand what being surrounded 12 hours a day (because she slept the rest 12), for more than ten months in succession, in almost utter silence meant? She hopes to someday meet someone who understands; but meanwhile, she had to move on and become functional again, breathe work and inhale code, the essentials for uncontroversial immigrant survival.

Now, after four weeks, her heart still pounds, but the noises are far reduced.. all except one causes her pain. Funny how pounding hearts once in a brief while function like spring-time fluttering butterflies. They may be short lived, but usually leave a warm glow. Well, one well deserved silver lining after all!

So, what is the plan for the next four weeks, you ask? I say, it is to go as far as the path takes me.. To become a traveller and leave the sequences and consequences to the grand Designer, 'cause

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep...
"

The Four Walls

2011-02-16T17:44:00.004+05:30

The four walls that hold me in;

Sometimes in darkness and sometimes in liberation.

The thick dark walls of despair and helplessness want to suck me into their emptiness;

The thin bright walls of joy keeps me safe in its transparence, like a bubble, free to take me wherever I wish to go, hither to the flowers or thither to those buzzing bees...

The dark walls make the ground sink away, taking me with it, into its deep, bottomless abyss;

The bright walls open roofs to freedom and give me magical wings to fly and coo like a nightingale in the garden yonder...

Oh my walls, my dear dear walls, tell me that you are not playing tricks on me!

Pity my blind eyes and tell me that you are not changing colors behind my back?

Are you not different, but the same?

Its been a while

2011-02-16T17:25:00.005+05:30

Its been a while.

So much has passed by in the last two years since I last wrote here.. I was reading through the older blog posts and somehow I could no longer associate myself with them.
I'm in transition, the metamorphosis has set in. It had to, change is inevitable.

The changes scare me, but one can either be scared or face their demons. I haven't decided yet, but I hope to one day choose the latter.

Today I have been inspired.. I feel something stirring up inside me and you can very well ask 'What's cooking?', to which my coy answer would be 'Wait and see' ;-)

Dear Mother...

2009-10-08T18:28:00.011+05:30

Dear Mother,

I wish I could tell you how much I love you. Your mere presence in my life is a cause of great joy and happiness. And to have you in flesh and blood, in my own house, is a joy that I can’t express in words. What started off as a one month vacation now comes to an end. The traveler must now return back to her nest, leaving my nest empty and void.

All these days, I tried spend some time with you, but failed miserably, due to so much of work. I don’t know if this work will ever cease, but one day your presence will. And I am so scared every time this thought strikes me. What if I never get anyone who loves me as much as you do? I will surely die if such a situation ever comes. Till the time you are here, I felt safe and protected. Each day I got nice, hot meals and saw fresh flowers bloom in my tiny garden. After you are gone, the house will be so empty and void, mirroring the emptiness in my own heart.

All that will be left are the sweet memories of your coming into my empty heart and apartment and making it look like spring has arrived. Attachment is such a cruel manner of love establishing its roots in a person’s heart. We keep pining for love, and when we do get it, we still keep pining in pain, all because of attachment.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that I know I haven’t been the best daughter to you. But I do know that you have been the best Mother I could possibly get. You have been a role model in almost every way of life and have taught me how patience and perseverance can win over anyone, even though precious years and health are lost in this struggle called marriage. Thank you for feeding me and showering me with so much love. I know you are going back home today, but please do come and visit me again. I will miss you so much.

Maa, in my next birth, will you please choose to be my mother again? I would love to be your daughter and will try my best to not repeat the mistakes I made this time around.

Always praying for your health and happiness,

Love,

Your silly daughter

I closed my eyes

2008-06-18T19:51:00.009+05:30

I closed my eyes
And thought of a life

A life which I could call my own
A faith I can trust never to desert me
How many more tears to shed before I completely cleanse thy Lotus feet

I closed my eyes
And thought of a love

Where care meets its fruition in love
Where a 'bye' just means a sweet wait
And where dreams were not a distant mirage, but a beautiful reality

I closed my eyes
And thought of a home

A home which would be made warm by children laughing
Where roses would bloom and sunflowers would shine
And God would pour his blessings of comfort and happiness

And I kept my eyes closed...

A Tribute to Love

2008-02-25T18:14:00.010+05:30

I came in as a stranger to this world,
with my ten li'l toes and ten li'l fingers
And a wail of unbearable pain
Her first caress made me feel wanted
Her teary-eyed smile made me feel special
She touched my cherubic cheeks
And kissed my big wide eyes
And I knew that instant that she was my God - my Mother, my protector

He sat outside the Operation theater
Worried, tensed, nervous, scared
Anxiety and strain gnawing at him each passing moment
And when he heard that beautiful strain, it was music to his ears
the nurse handed him his daughter, his priceless princess
Wrapped in white, covered in golden dawn
I opened my eyes and looked at him - clueless and lost
Crying and wailing - a tiny speck in this whole new world
He took me in his arms and held me close
A drop of tear trickled down his weary eyes
And landed gently on my tiny infant palm
Creating an invisible bond of love
And I knew that instant that He was my God - My Father, my protector

" It needs great intelligence for a man and woman to be forgotten,to live together, not surrender to each other or be dominated by one or the other.
Relationship is the most difficult thing in life. "

-Jiddu Krishnamurti

Happy Anniversary Ma Baba. Thank you for being the best!

Jab We Met

2007-12-25T18:58:00.000+05:30

Pierced nose. Tattoos. Unsymmetrical earrings. Flats and dungarees. Slapstick sense of humour. Enter Konkona, the heroine of this story. Funny to the boot, Konkona was spark and wit personified.
Now, it so happened that her parents survived twenty four years of her rebellion and Out-of-the-Box ways of life and decided to pass on the torch of responsibility to a 'suitable groom'. And so the groom hunt began. From newspapers to online portals, no medium was spared. And after almost two months of running about priests with horoscopes, they shortlisted a few compatible matches for the hurricane of their eyes
The D-day for the interview came and Konkona was stuffed into a salwar kameez, bejewelled and made to resemble a character just out of one of the popular K-soaps that her mother was an avid fan of. Fluttering her eyelashes, Konkona looked at her reflection in the mirror and winked.
At exactly one hour and five minutes post the appointed time (which is the standard IST, for the non-Indian reader), the groomfolk arrived. 'Dead meat', Konkona pursed between her lips.. For this rebellious young hurricane, marriage was a death trap, which would leave her forever tied up and take away all the pleasures of life, which she had come to love by then. Such were her thoughts as she sat huddled in the inside quarters of her home, where she was strictly instructed to stay, until she was summoned out side by her Mother. But being the curious cat that she'd always been, she ventured to peep into the drawing room, through one corner of the curtain with unblinking Kajal-laid eyes, and was aghast to find the prospective Mother-in-law (MIL), staring directly at her, sitting atop the refurbished sofa, that Konkona had decorated the previous night.
She promptly closed the curtain, obviously fluttered at having got caught at her own game.
After a wait, which seemed eternal to this impatient scuffling young creature, she was finally summoned and she entered with the tea tray delicately balanced between the mountains of pastries, samosas and biscuits and rivers of hot tea, with cream floating on top of them. What a spread.. she thought.. If only Mother is as generous every day.. Silence ensued for one whole minute. MIL was sizing her up. Konkona was trying to pour the tea without spilling it on the prospective groom's brand new imported sneakers. Konkona's parents were wondering what was going on in the minds of MIL and FIL.
And then the interview began.

Q1: Do you know cooking?
Ans: Yes, I do (If only I could trust someone eating it...)
Murmurs of approval.

Q2: What kind o work do you do in Office?
Ans: Java, J2EE.. voice trailed off (An attempt to throw in technical jargons ended in a complete flop show)
Silence.

Q3: What else do you apart from Office work?
Ans: Don't get much time. I come back from the office quite late, due to tremendous project pressure.. (How easy to pull that one off, she congratulated herself)
Slight murmurs and pressure @ workplace vs Women surving in workplaces. A short debate ensued.

Q4: What all books do you read?
Ans: Lolit...No, I mean last I read 'Love in the time of Cholera' by Marquez (Whoops.. Lolita had almost done me in!!)
Murmurs of approval.

Some more silence amidst slurps of tea and bicuit crunches.
"So why don't you two take some time off and talk to one another?"
This was met with a vigorous nod of assent from both MIL+FIL and M+F. "Yes, yes go ahead beta.. Dont be shy.. "
Konkona beckoned with a sly smile to the bespectacled bakra "Come lets go" and added with a whisper "Its showtime folks!"

One inside she studied the twenty seven year old YYM+YYT grad who obviously having floated in single land for so long had finally given in to his parents' wishes of seeing a girl. And so Konkona started doing what she was best at. And what better victim could she have asked for than this shy guy who had the 'single jingle' literally enveloping his whole demeanour.
'So, any boyfriends?' (Ouchie.. how many do I mention without hurting your sentiments shy guy?) Added with a smile..'Hmm... Would I be sitting here in that case?' (That was close!) That sounded acceptable to this cute looking geeky dude, who had something vaguely Kintish about him.. Was it the hair.. Or the nose.. Or the fidgeting hands.. Konkona kint her brows in concentration, but was not able to decipher..
'So do you have any questions for me?', shy guy asked.
Konkona replied quietly 'No, I belive conjugal life is a a journey of self discovery' (Whaat?! Konkona was nonplussed at what she just spoke! What had come over her?)
'Yes, I agree to that. So is yours a very religious family?'-shy guy again.
'Yes. In fact I do prayers each day along with uttering the holy chants as part of my initiation into the religious world' (Now, this ought to stop immediately Konkona! It was as if an invisible remote was controlling her! She reprimanded herself and ordered her senses to come back under her control.. 'So what, you like him too, isn't it?' A shy voice inside her spoke out). Konkona was shocked as she realized what was happening! She couldn't fathom that her best laid plans were getting dumped in the bin.. She made one last deperate attempt
"I had one boyfriend.. It ended recently.. I am still heartbroke!"
"Ohh.. thats bad.. I can understand how tough it must have been for you. I hope you get over it soon..."
Konona nearly fainted..

*************************************************************************************

And when she woke up, the whole world seemed so different.. It took her a long time to realize what had happened.. The sharp shears of fate had subtly cut away her girlhood from her womanhood, in a way that both stayed together even after thay had been cut apart... Maybe her plan had indeed achieved its target.. Will he ever come back?.. She felt miserable without knowing why.. She desperately waited for that single mail from her shy guy..

She still waits.

For you, with Love

2007-10-08T21:35:00.000+05:30

"To you, for you, with love
For all that you have given me till now
And for all that I shall treasure within me till I die

To you, for you, with love
For the sweet memories, the sun kissed days, the starlit nights
And the dreams weaved with the threads of love

To you, for you, with love
My whole life, my soul, I pledge
In memory of the few days that you shared with me

To you, for you, with love
For you, whom I shall remember with care, for all that we did share
And who’s memories will light my days brighter than the Sun, for years to come.

To you, for you, with love
Take care of yourself and never cry
Cause would you wish my heart to drown in your tears?

To you, for you, with love
Who touched my life in a manner so sweet
And left me with a joy I cannot express, no matter how much I try

To you, for you, with love
My Knight in a shining armor, my hero, my innocent child
Please never forget me, or I shall die… Promise? "

Kudos to Sudoku

2007-09-13T18:10:00.000+05:30

Remembering Nehaa..

2007-05-14T17:07:00.000+05:30

"Like the beauty of the morning Sun
Your smile unfurled new petals
From afar I heard
The giggly-wiggly laughter
Bursting into a bright, friendly smile..The essence of being Nehaa.
Whenever I needed a friend
I found you by my side
A person alive with smiles and cackling with joy
If you had just rememembered me but once
I would have come to you, my dear
Sat next to you, like you did countless number of times
I would've listened to your agony and wept with you
Or would've just hugged you when nothing else was of any help
To say I'll miss you, is an understatement
One can never forget you
'Cause you know not what a void your absence creates
Imagine a life without laughter and smiles
And that is how it has become now
A lovely flower nipped by the cruel shears of fate
Moments before it was about to bloom in all its glory
Oh my dear.. I lack words to describe that void today
But your memories shall live on forever..in the cosmos of my consciousness..
And many others.. 'cause to know you, is to love you..
I can't say a 'Good bye' to you..
So I'll just say 'We'll meet again'
Miss you sweetie. God bless you."

Achievement

2007-04-28T18:15:00.000+05:30

"Finally the sweat and toil of three years has paid off! "

These are the words that reverberated in the air as one hundred and eighty students appeared for their final project viva today, completing the final lap of the race that we set out to win, three years back.
Three years of non-stop CAMs, TEMs, submissions, demos, seminars, lab file completions, not to forget the harsh Vellore Sun and Idly, rasam with curd. The latter may still continue in the lives of most of the batch, placed mostly in Bangalore and Chennai.. But who minds that, now that VIT is out of our lives? ;-) Plus I have warmed up to the idea of steaming hot Idlis and a hot cuppa coffee being a decent Breakfast dish as also the goodness of curd rice as a gentle soothing lunch in the sweltering Southern heat.
I still remember the first time I came to Vellore. The first sight was a man in the station lifting his Lungi into a mini skirt.. The second scene was a group of Auto drivers (later on renamed as Annas), shouting only two words "CMCaa?" and "VITaa?"! So we chose the best bargain amongst the half shouting "VITaa". The next scene was the auto's horn (more precisely, the "bhopu") blaring away its rubber belly to glory.. all the way to VIT. At 2 AM in the morning!
What came next can only be described as something out of a movie set.
From gigantic Technology towers to shiny black roads to the railways chugging their way through in between the campus.. It was going to be quite a surreal experience, I believed. And so it turned out to be. From the first day on, when I was told to open the EZ drive. I tried and tried, but EZ: just wouldn’t run! Psst.. a voice near me advised.. Try only the last letter. I did, and it worked! I exchanged my first wink . Since that day there’s been no looking back. When asked the spelling of my name "m-u-n-m-u-n" never worked. So I resorted to "yum-yoo-yen-yet yanother yum-yoo-yen", as naturally as I had gotten accustomed to curd rice in my life. Well, I didn’t have much of an option.Roti became pappad and pappad became Roti. Sambhar replaced Daal and buttermilk became my new energy drink. Two glasses of that, and I was ready to tackle Microprocessors (in second semester), Analysis of algorithms and design (in fourth semester) and Computer Graphics (in fifth semester). The bickering, the buttering, the betting and the bitching. Been there, seen it all. The only relief was the cool gang of friends I made there.

We would sit in the last bench and look at people fight for the first,
We would watch people haggling for half a mark and grew wise about insanity and thirst
We would see the boy and the girl talk in semi-darkness and blush when someone came
And then we saw the girl breaking the boy’s heart when the fruitful moment came.
I guess Love’s just a game. For those who have no shame.
We saw the class getting divided into unequal groups of those who weren’t placed and those who were.
There were dreams that we all had seen together. But, which for them had only brought dejection.
And then we saw the morbid days of people avoiding glances and helplessness and rejection.

We saw friends ditch friends: nonchalantly and without any chagrin
Sweet memories and salty tears: both present at the funeral of friendship, killed and left to bleed in the bin of accumulated sin.

But somehow, we have endured it all and come out fresh and wise.
With friends I can rely on, all my life.

Those were the days when each day weaved magic into our lives.
The chuckles, the roars of laughter, adding music to the youthful years of College life.
And though they shall come back no more, the memories shall always be..
Que sera sera.. whatever will be, will be…

Moi DNA

2007-04-28T18:02:00.001+05:30

Read my VisualDNA™

Life

2007-04-20T13:29:00.000+05:30

LIFE, believe, is not a dream,
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day:
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
Oh, why lament its fall?
Rapidly, merrily,
Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily,
Enjoy them as they fly.
What though death at times steps in,
And calls our Best away?
What though Sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope a heavy sway?
Yet Hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell,
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfuly, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell dispair!

-Charlotte Brontë

Angelic beauty

2007-04-04T11:44:00.000+05:30

She wiped her tears on the end of her torn dupatta. Her long eyelashes closed in one last time jutting out the last tear and it trickled down from the corner of her eyes, down her cherubic face onto her wrinkled salwar , creating a small black pool, which faded away quickly, absorbed by the worn-out cotton dress and all that remained was a thin grayish line one minute later, a grim reminder of her trysts of eight long hours. Four hundred and eighty minutes of torturous struggle against the beast, clawing at her with its long dirt-filled fingernails, painted a bright red,
She opened her eyes and smiled.
She was free! It was over. At least for today.
She got up from the floor where she had lain for long, getting back her energy and sanity. The pink Lucknawi chikan salwar-suit she wore clung to her, among beads of perspiration which had formed on her body as a result of her tryst of the morning. As she got up, her long tresses followed her up, like an enchanted snake.
Looking at herself in the small mirror which hung by the door side, below the little lamp, her only source of light, in that dark building, she saw only one thing: Determination. That shocked her. Determination had never been her forte. She had always been a shy and diminutive girl, who wanted to be a Teacher one day at the Primary school, at the end of the road where she lived with her laborer parents, huddled inside one of the many jhuggis of JJ colony. That was seven years ago. Time had taken her to places, which she never knew existed.. The darkness of her experiences quelling all hopes of her securing a life for herself ever again. The scars of the last seven years had marred her life irrevocably.. And yet the light which shone in those proud eyes could not be mistaken for anything else than a strong determination for survival. And inadvertently, her tear-stricken face broke into a smile as radiant as the glow of the morning sun..

As she purged herself under the tap water and applied the attar of roses over her svelte frame, she sang on…

“ Only for today I shall live like a Queen,
Only for today I shall lose myself in the beauty
of the flowers and the bees..
And sway to the music of life, undisturbed, pristine
Que sera sera, Whatever will be, will be.. ”

My Favourite Ghazhal

2007-04-02T19:32:00.000+05:30

This is one of my favourite Ghazals sung by Malika-e-Ghazal, Farida Khanum. I searched the Internet, but could not find both the lyrics and the song at one place. But now all Farida Khanum fans can 'sweetlimesoda' it and sing on and on :-)
Due to differences in trasliterations, I would urge the readers to use Internet Explorer , to view the Hindi words, as they were meant to be.

आज जाने की जिद ना करो (३)
यूँही पहलू में बैठे रहो (२)
आज जाने की जिद ना करो
हाय मर जायेंगे, हम तो लुट जायेंगे
ऐसी बातें किया ना करो
आज जाने की जिद ना करो (२)
हाय मर जायेंगे, हम तो लुट जायेंगे
ऐसी बातें किया ना करो
आज जाने की जिद ना करो

तुम ही सोचो ज़रा, कयूँ ना रोके तुम्हे
जान जाती है जब उठ के जाते हो तुम (२)
तुमको अपनी क़सम जान-ए-जान
बात इतनी मेरी मान लो
आज जाने की जिद ना करो
यूँही पहलू में बैठे रहो (२)
आज जाने की जिद ना करो
हाय मर जायेंगे, हम तो लुट जायेंगे
ऐसी बातें किया ना करो
आज जाने की जिद ना करो

वक़्त कि क़ैद में जिन्दगी है मगर (२)
चन्द घड़ियाँ येही हैं जो आज़ाद हैं (२)
इनको खोकर मेरी जान-ए-जान
उम्र भर ना तरसते रहो
आज जाने कि जिद ना करो
हाय मर जायेंगे, हम तो लुट जायेंगे
ऐसी बातें किया ना करो
आज जाने की जिद ना करो

कितना मासूम रंगीन है यह समां
हुस्न और इश्क कि आज मैंराज है (२)
कल कि किसको खबर जान-ए-जान
रोक लो आज की रात को
आज जाने की जिद ना करो
यूँही पहलू में बैठे रहो (२)
आज जाने की जिद ना करो
हाय मर जायेंगे, हम तो लुट जायेंगे
ऐसी बातें किया ना करो
आज जाने की जिद ना करो

To sing along click here:

More on Farida Khanum

Song courtsey http://gupshup.org

Interpreting Love

2007-03-15T16:40:00.000+05:30

“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”

- Ivan Penin

Ever been in love ?

2007-01-18T17:45:00.000+05:30

Have you ever been in love?

Ever been in love when you didn't have any inhibitions or fear?
When the only fear you ever had was losing the person you loved?

When life seemed ike a ball and every morning you woke up with an indescribable feeling.. that there was someone out there, wanting to meet you as early as posible, to admire your new earrings, the freshness of your face bringing a wave of happiness in his life.

When the only thing you wanted to do all day was to be with this someone special and whisper sweet nothings in his ears, comforting him in those moments he felt he let you down, being with him like the pillar of strength in moments when those muscles paid him no compliment..

Being with him in moments of sadness and happiness, his companion and invaluable friend always.

When his proximity caused your heart beats to increase..
When you would wear something new everyday, to see his admiration for you mirrored in his eyes..
When before praying for anything else to God, you would pray for his health and happiness so that the smile which drew him so close to you would remain the same always..like an indelible mark in the cosmos of your consciousness..

When the only music you heard was the music of togetherness..
When one phone call set you in a dizzy of frenzied activities..
When you wanted to keep him in the safest place in the whole world, in side your heart..
When all you wanted to do was to capture that charming,benevolent smile and keep it framed in your memory forever and ever..

A memory so strong and powerful that your world revolved around that only one truth.

When the imagination of being away from him brought with it a chill, unbearable and the only cure for which was to run to him,no matter what hour of the day, just to see him there, gesticulating and cracking jokes with is pals. Oh! what great relief you felt upon witnessing that scene..
What an irony.. just a few moments what were tears of agony had suddenly changed to tears of happiness..
And you went back singing and dancing like a peacock in monsoon..

What paranoia,what mixed feelings,what emotions,what happiness,what dejection one may feel while in love is truly a bouquet of experiences one must taste..
The blandness of our existence is replaced by the tanginess of our ownemotions, making life more bubbly (much like a sweet lime soda,eh? ;-) )

So.. tell me.. have you been in love like this ?

Relative distance

2006-12-26T18:17:00.000+05:30

Ahem.. so a blog after a long time, you must be thinking.. time passes and so does life
making it a wonderful timepass.
I recently shifted the centre of my mass from what might appear in space to be a tiny speck in southern Tamil Nadu to another tiny speck near it,in Karnataka. But the differenece,believe me, is awesome.Our good old 'anna' no longer responds to our calls asking for a bargain in auto prices. And we are living on dust, carbon monoxide and its dioxide cousin for almost two hours of commute daily. And though no great intellects who may claim complimentary meals on an everyday basis, we hungrily look forward to 9 PM and then wait for an even longer 9.15 to strike to casually march into the dining hall to claim our free dinner.The neon lights and the slightly chilly evenings beckon us each day and the big malls invigorate our senses with the invite for movies,Mc Donald burgers and endless coke barrels..
The list could go on and on. So lets switch back to reality.
The last one month has seen me touching more than five Indian states, packing all that have been collected over the last six years as hosteller into cartons and suitcases and whatever containers (strictly a non-java one!), i could lay my hands upon. One suitcase stubbornly refused to close shut and I had to seek out the help of a human equivalent of a baby elephant to sit on top of the case until it was forced into submission. With one final creaky cry it closed. And hasn't openend ever since.
Now about the great commute.
Its a normal adage that people who are in the same common trouble seek out each other's company. So it was with us four. Three guys and a girl (not in a pizza place. the situation was very much unlike how Star tv portrays in the popular soap). Picture this : We get off 30 kilometres away from our destination as per the bus conductor's advise with approximately two heavy and one light baggage per person. After a clear understanding of the situation we were in,we decided to approach a sumo driver and book it for the reminder journey of 30 kms. After hearing rentals stretching from 400 to 900 rupees, reality bit again and we decided to wait for a local bus. Another surprise hit us. Everything was written in the local language and we could not make out either head or tail of it (though everything consisted of heads and tails only!). No one had made any effort to write the equivalent in English(our International language!) or Hindi(Our National language!). India is really a strange country with its myraid mysteries baffling even the most learned sociologists.Language is supposed to unite. Here it divides people( at least into two disproportionate halves : North and South).
Anyways, coming back to the point.
We changed two local buses and thereafter ended up paying more than twice the regular fare to the Guest house in the autorickshaw, than what it would have taken had we been travelling in the daylight. The only breather were the tickles that the ironical situation constantly kept giving us.. We finally reached at 9 PM. Whew!

That was more than one week back.
The transition since then has been equal in magnitude. From Mars to Pluto we've touched all. We travel in space shuttles and have a registered ID card (a few of my friends really
looking like aliens in the photos!),which allows our CEO to track us down from anywhere in the milky way.
Isn't that so honey sweet? [more than that i can't divulge cause I might be asked to pay a
huge price {that too in $!} as per my company's non-compliance policy (shhh..)]

So thats all for today fellas!
Have a nice good sleep tonight and wait for my next blog,which should come up anytime now.
And yes,please send in your comments. They are priceless!

Bare truths

2006-11-27T15:05:00.000+05:30

The demure girl sat basking in the afternoon sun, gazing at the long stretch of corn field lazily spread across the Earth. Hopping nearby were a pair of parrots engaged in a friendly banter. And above them all spread the clear, azure October sky. It was a serene scene sculpted out by Nature's own hands.

Suddenly the calm was disturbed.

The girl ran inside the farm. The parrots sqeaked and flew away, no longer agreeing with one another. The sky was overshadowed by dark clouds. Smoke rose from the distant north and was whirlpooling towards them in a cloud of smoke and dust.

I took only two minutes for the canvas to be destroyed.

The parrots dropped dead, asphyxiated. The girl frozen with horror, saw her skin catching fire and peeling off. Strangely she did not feel any sensation. She saw her bare bones and blood all around and fainted. Never to wake up again.

It took only two minutes for the colours to change from green and blue to a horrific black.

Often I wonder, has war helped anyone?

Sweet Lime Soda

2006-11-27T12:23:00.000+05:30

I know I know.. why this name, one would ask. Well, its sweet, its tangy, its bubbly. And hence, it completely represents my view of life.
Ever remember the first time you ever drank a soft drink? Well, neither do i. But I do remember one time i had a syruppy substance when i was hardly five. Believe me, it wasn't fun vommiting out with my innards shook up.
But sweet lime soda..You got to admit that there's something about sweet lime soda. 'Banta' as we know it is a popular refreshment in North India. The tangy taste energizes you and leaves a scintillating cool feeling inside the mouth.

So cheerios to the great summer chiller!

Keep bloggin!